Entry tags:
c o n t a c t
желание I know you are the answer, but I forgot the question. | печь There will always be a lie in believe. |
один Whatever is static is dead. | рассвет The world is too quiet. |
желание I know you are the answer, but I forgot the question. | печь There will always be a lie in believe. |
один Whatever is static is dead. | рассвет The world is too quiet. |
LATE DAY 006
But it's not the only distraction on his mind.
A day isn't long enough for Bucky's arrival to settle in his mind. His memory holds parts of their conversation with sharp clarity, erratic sensory input and spoken words haphazardly pieced together. He'd reject all of it if he could, but no version of him can hear that story and accuse Bucky of being a liar. No version of him could hear and see all that, and feel anything but horror and grief.
(he's eighteen again, walking home from his mother's funeral)
It's later in the day when he finally notices Bucky's absence. Doesn't worry him at first - he'd seemed, of all things, interested in the mission. Steve had been trying to do the same thing, walking the nicer districts this time and getting one of those tech tours. But hours pass and there's still no sign of him at the Bearings, his room looking like it was left in a hurry.
A train brings him to the same platform he'd exited with Lexa a few days ago, following a faint trail. For better or worse Steve's understanding of his mental abilities have increased slightly ever since the day he decided to wander through the roots of his Brood. At a distance it's not easy to hold, but he can follow the link as he walks through the streets of Subspace. Keeps his head down - might've been a good idea to bring someone else with him. A trio of young men size him up as he passes a boarded up building. ]
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He’s not in Russia, he’s not hunting a target, he’s not waiting on evac. His name is Bucky and he’s come to Concordia on a recon mission. Steve’s here. Steve’s small again. Steve knows. Steve told him to imagine walls to keep people out and they were supposed to practice today. Except today is almost over and it’s taken him too long to get his head set on his shoulders again.
In the back of his mind, a beacon glows, like a radar, and moves closer, reaching out for something or someone. It’s reminiscent of the man from earlier in the day, but much more pure and bright; this isn’t a touch that frightens him, instead it harkens him to follow.
The Nest, he figures, someone sent to bring him in. They can’t have their operatives running off in the middle of the night in the middle of a mission, after all. It makes sense, but Bucky’s not about to go hurrying back into a room full of minds he can’t shut out.
Sucking in a breath, he tucks his new journal into his pack and shoulders it. His left sleeve has more or less been cut off underneath the jacket for ease of maneuverability. As he exits his temporary hovel, the beacon in his head doubles in strength, no longer a beckoning but a command. He follows it to a group of three men speaking in hushed tones before they pick up on the scent of easy prey. They step out from under the concrete lintel to tail their target. ]
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He makes it to the door, a soft chime announcing his entrance. The cashier barely flicks his gaze away from the cracked holo-screen fixed into the wall behind the counter. Steve's hands shove into his pockets and he loiters near the back, eyeing the cases of carbonated drinks and beer, waiting out his pursuers.
As much as some people like to insist on the contrary, Steve actually doesn't enjoy getting beat up and/or mugged - the mess on Avera has instilled some caution in him. ]
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after ilde's post.
[ just a glancing brush of his mind, careful not to delve too deeply. ]
sorry i am so so late
hush your face you're fine
lkjhslkfd
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day early 30-somethingish
The first page has a sketch of Bucky, drawn at a profile as he is now. Written next to it is James Buchanan Barnes.
The second page is a sketch of Sam Wilson, labeled with his name the same way.
The third page is more cartoon than realistic portrait: a Popeye-esque figure next to a shorter, noodle-armed version, both posing like they're in body building competition. Steve, 2016 and Steve, 1943 (and now).
The rest of the notebook is blank, a pen stuck inside of it. ]
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( This for me? )
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( Yep. ) [ He would've given it in person, but he gets a bit weird about people looking at his art when it's of them. ] ( I was picking up supplies, thought you might get use out of it. )
[ All the notebooks back at the Station are used.
A lot of them filled with interesting art. ]
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day 2ish
It's only now, away from the mission, that Sam's starting to realize just how many promises they've made each other. It's another one that eventually sends Sam hunting for Bucky, though at least he does it physically, rather than pushing at Bucky's mind. He doubts that Bucky is staying in communal bunks of the life support area - granted, neither is Sam, but he doesn't need to be there to not see him to guess that. Just like he doesn't need the symbiote connection to assume that Bucky's hidden himself in some dark hidey-hole somewhere far away, but it definitely helps when it comes to actually pinpointing it down.
Still, he does most of his hunting the old fashioned way, doing his best to keep his shields up and stay out of Bucky's head, at least for right now. It's a relief when he finally manages to track Bucky down. ]
Least it didn't take me two years this time.
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Good job. [He feels a small measure of guilt for clearly running away, but sarcasm can only be so diluted.
His shields remain up, though less to keep Sam out as to attempt to retain a sense of privacy.]
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So keeping himself back is only part out of a desire to give Bucky privacy and not overwhelm him. The rest of it is his own issues about having someone in his head, about missing their presence when it's not there, and it unsettles him.
Still, that doesn't stop him from grinning a little. ]
There's the snarky jackass I've been missing. You're gonna hurt my feelings here, man, you know you don't gotta literally run away from me any more, right?
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day 3ish, pre-shield finding
[ A gentle poke. Like Sam, he's been giving Bucky his space. The question isn't urgent, but it carries an unspoken, faint sense of concern. ]
o7
a few days after their fight
He'd given Bucky his space, turned his attention on the mission, gone out drinking with Misato and Damon, tried to get his mind off their fight and his thoughts sorted. And honestly, he's not sure he's been completely successful, but he's had enough of the empty ache where Bucky's connection should be and the feeling that he let Bucky down. Eventually, he goes looking for him, until he can once again brush his mind against Bucky's. ]
( They miss you. ) [ It's accompanied by the impression of the little alien birds they'd been looking after. ] ( Buchanan won't stop pecking me. )
/plays all the breakup songs
His freeze-dried food, carefully rationed, will only last for another day unless he thins the portions further. He's familiar enough with hunger to know that it stops hurting eventually.
When another mind brushes against his, Bucky recoils. Sam's mind is still distant and it's like talking through a tin can for the buffer between them. ]
( Should've named him Steve. )
ajagshd Bucky stop being a sad raccoon
( Steve ain't the only stubborn jackass I know. )
never!!
huffs at him
sam is now the big bad wolf
and he'll blow your hovel down bucky!
come out come out little piggy/bucky ??
or at least let him in !!
excuse u mr woof
he promises he won't bite
that would be so rude
too rude for sam
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day 35-36ish
Still, he tries anyway, reaching out like a brush of feathers before his presence in Bucky's mind strengthens. ]
( I still owe you a drink, you know. )
yas gaga yas
Bars aren't exactly the best place to avoid violence, though.]
( Somewhere not crowded? )
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before the Briefing Mission Start
[At some point, during the station's "day" cycle, he'll "knock".]
[A quiet request to talk to Bucky. If he's not busy.]
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late day 55; after the mission briefing
Now it's more purposeful, an impression of you got a minute and I got something important. ]
late day 55; after the mission briefing
When Sam presses against his mind, Bucky's packing, though not entirely with purpose.
He's here if you want him.]
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day 002ish
And it takes a while for the poison to completely work itself out of Bucky's system, which means Sam's even more glad they're back in the relative safety of the Station. At least then they can actually - more or less - seclude themselves, and Sam can be as much up in their shared mental space as Bucky will let him.
Maybe it'd be better to try saying the words when Bucky's not at full strength, just in case, but that's not a risk Sam's willing to take. They can handle anything the programming throws at them without doing it while Bucky's still recovering as far as Sam's concerned.
But Sam doesn't want to wait too long and risk something else happening, so it's not too long before Sam brings it up. Or, well, technically the idea that they should jump on it while they're alone and relatively deep within the Station comes to mind, but seeing as he isn't bothering to try to keep any walls up, it's the same thing. ]
( Still on board? )
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He's still got a pounding headache when Sam's mind brushes against his and he gives the mental impression of a nod as he shifts in his bunk. He wants this and sooner rather than later. And with fewer people on the Station, there is less of a chance of him hurting someone.]
( Yeah. )
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lmk if this isn’t okay
works for me!
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