c o n t a c t

[bracchium]

желание I know you are the answer, but I forgot the question.	печь There will always be a lie in believe.
один Whatever is static is dead.	рассвет The world is too quiet.

( CODE BY WHAMBAM )

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[decommission]

[ It's hard to see in the dark of the room, eyes not quite focused with the clarity that comes with being properly awake, but his own panic finally stutters to life when he hears Bucky clamoring for the exit. ]

Stop, Buck - [ He's on his feet too, the room's small enough that he doesn't have to go far, nearly tripping over the jacket on the floor. ] - it's okay, stop.

[ The second stop reaches through the link with a clumsy, desperate sort of force, something caught between a plea and a command. ]

[bracchium]

[His only usable arm continues to hang limp at his side from the dream, from the reality he once faced, but when faced with Steve, with a fully awake Steve who sends something through the link, he wrenches the door open. The command settles somewhere between his instinct and his programming, though, and stops him mid-step. Ready to comply rings in his ears and he can't help the shudder of helplessness that ripples down his spine.]

[decommission]

[ The reaction has him recoiling, severing the connection with a sharp twist in his gut, the same words echoing just beyond his ears. ]

I'm sorry. [ He hovers just behind Bucky, unmoving. ]

[bracchium]

[Bucky stills for long enough to acknowledge the apology, though he doesn't understand it. If anything, he should be the one muttering apologies. Instead, he's panicking, wrenching open the door and striding out into the street though he's less than half awake. Distance would make this easier.]

[decommission]

[ Panic hits him in a wave again. At first it seems like he means to just let Bucky go, guilt cementing his feet to the floor.

A few seconds later though and Steve's following him right out into the street, the memory of the fight back overriding Bucky's need for space. A lack of training means his feet hit the pavement with heavy steps as he trails behind, but his voice is hushed. ]

Where're you going? [ He doesn't think Bucky has an answer, hoping that might give him some pause again. ]

[bracchium]

[Steve's right to second guess Bucky. The moment he's out in the street, he doesn't know where he is or where he plans to go, other than away from Steve. He'll hurt him, he'l break him if he's allowed to stay so close to him. The fresh nightmare in his head collides with his own memories in a typhoon of guilt and regret.
Steve didn't deserve the trouble coming to him.

He stops a few paces from the door, mind still buzzing with sensory overload and the excess adrenaline running through his veins,

He doesn't answer, but it's as much a reply as words would be: he doesn't know.]

[decommission]

[ Steve circles around on his right before pausing, waiting a minute. His skin hums, half charged by that secondhand fight or flight instinct. Eyes close for a few seconds as he lets it roll off of him. ]

That really what my face looks like? [ His attempt at humor is weighed down again, but it's just about the only words he can muster right now that won't be another commanding plea for Bucky to come back inside. Better for both of them that he takes a moment, the past two days are finally catching up to him. The friend he's known almost all his life has a stack of papers covered with names and faces of people he's killed, coming from a future where Steve let it all happen.

They could match guilt for guilt if he weren't locking it down. ]

[bracchium]

[Bucky's gaze fixes on Steve as soon as he comes into his peripheral vision. The tangled mess of yellows and reds color the side of the other's face and Bucky sucks in a breath. He did that. He's dangerous. He needs to go, get away from people he can break.

His feet remain rooted where they stand a few paces into the street from the door, exposed and raw like twitching muscle under a microscope.]

[decommission]

[ He keeps holding Bucky's gaze. ]

I still need to show you how to block people. [ It probably won't help if he's unconscious and trapped in a nightmare, but it's better than nothing.

And maybe more of a reason for Bucky not to bolt right this second. ]

[bracchium]

[It takes a moment, but eventually Bucky nods, though with obvious reluctance. Blocking people would at the least keep Steve away from things he shouldn't see, nightmares included. Feeling starts to return to his right arm as his brain refocuses on being awake and aware.

The remnants of the nightmare, however, cling tight to the back of his head. He needs to get a hold on himself if he wants to keep from hurting Steve again, but he doesn't know how to do that.

He takes a glance at the silent street around them before turning back toward the hole in the wall.]