[As Bucky listens to Sam rearranging himself behind him, he tries not to bring up his guard. While his mind is still mostly blocked off, the proximity alone makes the walls more permeable. It's strange, sitting on the floor like a pair of kids. His head fills with scratchy memories, pictures of smaller him and Steve hanging out on couch cushions late in the night when fireflies drift lazily through the window. He's not sure he would let Steve touch him like this, not when there's so much Bucky desperately wants to keep away from him.
He doesn't realize he's holding his breath until the first brush of Sam's fingers through his hair. Behind the walls, the first of many memories of being touched, but in a less affectionate way, blasts to the forefront. Pierce swings at him when the weapon doesn't answer and a clap of skin on skin resonates through the room. He answers next time. Then someone's pulling him by his hair, someone with blurry features but speaks in sharp Russian. Orders him to be silent. Or was it an order to speak? Both produce a memory of their own, deep under the ground in Siberia.
Bucky flinches, but he does everything in his power to control the muscles twitching to hit something, anything.]
's fine. [He's not so sure he's fine, but he wants this, wants the feathers.]
no subject
He doesn't realize he's holding his breath until the first brush of Sam's fingers through his hair. Behind the walls, the first of many memories of being touched, but in a less affectionate way, blasts to the forefront. Pierce swings at him when the weapon doesn't answer and a clap of skin on skin resonates through the room. He answers next time. Then someone's pulling him by his hair, someone with blurry features but speaks in sharp Russian. Orders him to be silent. Or was it an order to speak? Both produce a memory of their own, deep under the ground in Siberia.
Bucky flinches, but he does everything in his power to control the muscles twitching to hit something, anything.]
's fine. [He's not so sure he's fine, but he wants this, wants the feathers.]